This is me

So as of today it's 3 months till I leave for Thailand! As excited as I am, I am also super nervous. I have always been self conscious about my body and I don't want to feel that way on the beach in Thailand.

I have always been the bigger friend. Not to say that I was overweight, just chubby maybe. At the end of 2011 my boyfriend, Rob, of 1 and a half years, left to go overseas for an undefined amount of time, so we ended up breaking up. For some reason I saw this as an opportunity to lose the weight that I was unhappy carrying. So over the next two months I dedicated time and effort to working out and watching my diet. When I returned to university I continued this new 'lifestyle' and joined the athletics club to help. My eating was not as strict but I was still working hard. By the beginning of 2013 I was still working out and eating well, I finally found myself weighing my goal weight (anything under 60kgs).

Then Korea happened.

I came, I ate, I drank... and still here doing the same. I still manage to exercise 5 days a week (probably why I'm not overweight, just chubby... again:/). But here I am, unhappy about myself as ever and I can make a change. I have said over the past 6 months that when it comes to 3 months to go I'm going to get to work! Although I should have been doing this all along. For some reason I find excuses to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I constantly reward myself for gym sessions, and even when I don't gym,  I still eat the 'rewards'. Also the fact that I'm here with Rob I am stuck in a comfort zone.

I am conscious of my binge moments with both food and alcohol so my plan is to control that. My intention is not to 'Hitler' myself but to change to a more healthy lifestyle like I was able to do in 2011, I need to find that same motivation, its somewhere inside me I swear! (Thailand).

So if I haven't already bored you to death then please continue to read this blog and hopefully travel through this journey with me. Comments and motivation is not just welcomed but NEEDED.

Love to all xxx

Before

Before

At my skinniest (note the short shorts and tummy showing) (little dronk)

At the start of weight loss

One of my only times at the beach with no board shorts on.

 I haven't posted a picture of myself now, but I will in the next few posts. (plus I like to remember myself as I was in these last 3 pics).